9

A couple days ago, Girlfriend turned 9 months old.  That means she has now been living out of the uterus longer than she was in it.  That means everyone I know who became pregnant while I was pregnant has definitely had their babies.  That means she is one pregnancy old.  It's funny how waiting 9 months for her to get here took FOREVER, yet the 9 months since have flown by.  I don't know why, but for some reason I've always looked at 9 months as a milestone.  As the months went by and she turned 1 month, and then 6 months, and so on, I would think to myself, "well, she's still a little baby, it's not like she's 9 months yet."  And, suddenly, it was upon us.  I also thought I would maybe not like her as much.  Obviously I knew I would still love her, but I thought by 9 months she would have grown out of being a baby and would be more like a child, and the newness would have worn off a little.  Do I sound like a first-time mom or what?!  How opposite it turned out to be!  She is more fun now then she has ever been!  Every time she gets a little older I think "Ok, this is my favorite stage."  But then she grows a little more and does even more and I think "Wait, no, THIS is my favorite stage." And worrying about the newness wearing off?  Preposterous! Every single day there is something new for me to marvel over.  She has such a personality.  She is very friendly and likes to meet new people.  She is much braver than her mama in that respect!  And I am always amazed that even though she cannot talk, she has found ways to communicate exactly what she wants.  I just love her.

I finally uploaded (and when I say "I" I mean Erik) my photos from my phone, which is what I take most pictures on, so this is going to be a bit of a photo dump.  But here is what our little 9-month-old has been up to:

 Height: Can't remember the exact number, but it was 99th percentile according to her 9-month well child exam.

Weight: Again, can't remember the number.  Something like 18 lbs 8 oz?  57th percentile though.  (Hmm, tall and skinny, who does that resemble?  I wish I could say it was me!)

Favorite mode of transportation: crawling really fast

Least favorite mode of transportation: car seat, sometimes

Walking status: Almost!  She stands by herself for short periods of time, but no steps.

Favorite foods: rice, peaches, pears, peas, green beans, ravioli, egg yolk, yogurt, wagon wheels, bananas with mixed berries

Least favorite foods: any fruit or vegetable mommy tries to make herself, apricots, beef in gravy

Favorite activities: swinging, dancing, singing, blabbering, pinching (not ok), reading, playing, going on walks, being outside.

Least favorite activities: going to the doctor, having her diaper changed, having her nose wiped, getting dressed.

 

Being with Mommy. #girlsdayisbetterthananyotherday

Getting into mischief. #mommytoobusylookingatfacebook

Eating her eggs. #loveatfirstyolk

Playing guitar with Daddy. #borntostrum

Chillin' like she owns the place. #targetismysecondhome

Swinging is the best! #playgroundofdreams

Opening cards. #somanyadmirerssolittletime

Helping Mommy make cookies. #notactuallyagoodideaforbabies

Playing in my high chair. #idowhatiwant

Reading my favorite book with Daddy before bed. #goodnightlittlemonkey

Busy trying to figure out how to get in my old car seat. #sillygenius

What they don't tell you...

I have come to understand that parenting is a learning process.  I like to think I was well-informed going into this, that I did my due diligence.  I read the books, the baby blogs, the magazines, etc.  I asked my ob/gyn every question and solicited advice from all the mamas I know.  Even after all that preparation, there are still some things that come up that take me completely by surprise.  And I'm not talking about the corny, expected, "I can't believe how much I love her!" kind of things.  I am talking about basic, common sense things that it seems like all of my pre-mama research should have uncovered.  So, just in case there are any soon-to-be mamas out there reading this blog, this one's for you!

Your hair will be a complete disaster.

Ok, so here's what I knew going in:  when you are pregnant your body does not produce some kind of hormone that usually causes your hair to fall out when it gets old.  Apparently, we are all losing hair all the time in small amounts and we replace it as it falls out, so it is not noticeable.  After you give birth your body starts producing that hormone again and you lose a ton of hair.  Like I said, this I knew and was prepared for.

What I didn't know was this:  It all starts growing back at the same time.  I know this should have been the logical conclusion to come to when you find out it all falls out at once.  Why is this a disaster?  Because around 6 months after the big fall-out you start to notice little fly-aways frame your entire face.  And they stick straight up, and they are noticeable.  Mine are so bad that when I went to my new hair stylist she asked me if I recently had a baby.  No worries, in a few months I will have extremely thin, weird bangs :(.

Your biggest critic?

Other moms.  You thought I was going to say "yourself" right?  That is what I would have said before, too.  But it is true.  Instead of being a community of support and acceptance like we should be, everyone is eyeing each other and saying "oh my gosh, that poor child!"  I try not to let this get to me too much.  I know my daughter is healthy and happy and that it could be far worse.  What bothers me the most is how every parenting philosophy is so intensely inflexible.  Their method is right and there is no merit to any other style and if you are not following theirs you must not love your child.  I have read the blogs and articles, and maybe it is just the lawyer in me, but I usually end up wanting to take out my red pen, circle the offending information (usually something like "you should be feeding your child liver in place of rice cereal") and write "citation needed."

So this is a plea to the mamas out there: parenting is hard enough without us being hard on each other.  Let's support instead of judge.  I will (try to) not judge you for breastfeeding your child until she is 4 if you will overlook the fact that I give mine baby food from a jar.

The floor is your nemesis.

Your kid is going to spend a lot of time on the floor.  A lot.

This means you are going to become a floor-cleaning fanatic.  And sometimes there is just not going to be enough time to do a thorough cleaning job.  We have mostly hardwood floors throughout the house. I confess, they only get swept and mopped once a week.  Sometimes when Friday rolls around again and I sweep up the floor during Elliot's first nap I feel like I should maybe call CPS on myself.  It doesn't help that we have a sheddy dog.  Sure, it's adorable when they play, but I can't help but thinking with every wag of that tail approximately 20 hairs are flying into the air and coming to rest on something my baby will inevitably put in her mouth.  Sometimes it helps to just have a glass of wine and try not to think about it.

See?  Adorable.

It shines a spotlight on the weakest parts of your marriage.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Although, I can totally see how marriages that may have been on the verge of collapse pre-baby probably could not withstand baby time.  I say it is not necessarily a bad thing though because for a strong, healthy marriage (which I am blessed to have) it makes you aware of the areas you need to focus on.  Sleep deprivation combined with stretched resources and way less time to focus on each other puts stress on anyone.

On the other hand, it also allows you to see the side of your spouse you didn't know existed and makes you love them even more.  May I present exhibit A and B?

A

B

Even post-baby, he still stands there in the neon looking like a high I want to be on.  (This is not the first time I have referred to Blake Shelton lyrics in the history of this blog, and it won't be my last!)

Ok, I think I am spent.  I hope this helps someone out there!

I will leave with a couple more pics of my cutie patootie because if I don't brag on her, who will?

Sitting cross-legged.  She did this herself.

Forgive the paleness and red, baggy eyes.  We are recovering from a cold :).

Mommy Confessions

I started my new job last week, and so far I am loving how busy I am and that I get to be home more with Babykins.  Since I am mainly working in the juvenile court, a lot of my case load is made up of dependencies, which is the legal process in which children are declared wards of the court for various reasons, usually for abuse or neglect.  These are the hardest cases to handle in my job.  There are some really REALLY bad things that people do to kids.  But, let's not talk about that here.

At least working with all these sad cases I have decided to be a little less hard on myself.  I know from my blog/facebook posts it appears that everything is great all the time.  And in truth, we are very happy.  But that doesn't mean we don't have our share of issues.  So in the spirit of letting it all hang out (well not ALL) these are my confessions:

1.  I have given Elliot formula.  No one died.  I will do it again.

2.  Even though I complain about how I would love to be a stay at home mom I am not sure I could do it full-time.  Some days I am happy to be going off to work.  My mother is a saint.  Not only does she watch Elliot every day all day, but she stayed home with my sister and me.

3.  Sometimes I go to the bathroom just so I can have a break.  (I was relieved to read in Tina Fey's book Bossypants that she does the same thing.  In fact, the whole section on parenthood in that book is very relatable and I highly recommend it to mommies.)

4. I eat Elliot's snacks...a lot.  Food products made for babies are delicious!  I especially enjoy the yogurt melts.  I have also been known to finish off her jars of baby food, but only the fruit ones. 

5. I often look for any excuse at all to go to Fred Meyer just because I like being there with Elliot.  

6.  I honestly don't know if I would love her as much if she were a boy.  Isn't that awful?  But, for whatever reason, I just can't picture loving any other baby, boy or girl, as much as I love her.

7.  I give her juice and I don't feel guilty about it.  (Some of you are saying "Wait, what's wrong with giving a baby juice?"  Exactly!  But it is a thing and right now apparently it is not kosh to give babies juice.  Sugar or some nonsense.)  Sometimes I don't even water it down.

8.  Ok, this one is embarrassing and probably my worst mommy moment to date.  So a couple months ago, you know, when she was about 6 months old, I noticed there was something kind of gunky looking in the sucker part of my breast pump and I thought "hmm, I wonder what that is?"  Upon closer inspection I realized, to my horror, it was old milk/bacteria and I was trying to figure out how to clean it out, not realizing that whole part of the pump came apart.  I had been using it for approximately six months without ever having cleaned it properly!

9.  I considered making my own baby food...for about 3 minutes.

10.  I am an introvert, which means when I get home from work the last thing I want to do is go anywhere except to my jammies, on the couch, with my babe-o.  It's how I refuel.  You know what's the best excuse for an introvert to stay in her comfort zone?  A baby.  And, believe me, I cash in on that card ALL. THE. TIME.

So, there you have it.  Now you know the real me.  It feels good to get all that off my chest!

Since it's been a while, I will send you off with some stats:

Age: (almost) 8 months

Teeth: 6 (4 top, 2 bottom)

Favorite foods: mango, peas, oatmeal with bananas and mixed berries, scrambled egg yolk, green beans, sweet potatoes and chicken, ham pineapple apple and rice, and pretty much anything combined with pears

Least favorite foods: avocado, apricots, apples (stay away from "a" foods I guess!)

Words spoken: "Hi!" "Boo" (She is just now starting to be talkative.  For a while she was just kind of silent and sneaky.)

Favorite activities: swinging, strolling, singing, pulling herself up and balancing "hands free", bouncing on Daddy

Least favorite activity: getting dressed

"Whatever you are, be a good one." -Abraham Lincoln

I had a law professor who always put quotes up to start each class.  Most of them were in one ear and out the other, but for some reason this one stuck.  Maybe it is the simple elegance, my interpretation being that it doesn't matter what you are as long as you are honest and competent.  I think I also liked that it doesn't limit you to being any one thing.  It suggests that you can wear lots of different hats but that you should wear each one well.  He was not my favorite professor, nor my least favorite, but he was a good teacher and he taught me virtually everything I know about criminal law and procedure.  Little did I know at the time how important that would be, since, as I have mentioned before, I never guessed I would end up being a criminal defense attorney.  Sadly, I found out last week my professor passed away.  He was in his forties.

So, where am I going with this?  Well, I guess I have been thinking a lot about my career lately and, if you have followed my blog in the past, you know that I really struggle with working full-time and wanting to be home more with Elliot.  I also had an epiphany that I have been looking at my job all wrong.  I keep telling myself that this is the "in-between" job, that being in criminal law is just something to do until I get my dream job, that this is definitely not my career... I have decided to stop doing that.  If recent events have taught me anything, it is that life is short.  Too short to tell myself that this life I am living, the career side, is not really my life.  I have decided to embrace it and take change as it comes.  I am a criminal defense attorney, and I hope I can say I am a good one.

But, here's the big news, ba ba ba bum (that's a drum roll): I will not be a defense attorney for much longer.  After Thanksgiving I applied to be the Assistant Prosecutor at the Yakama Nation.  It was a last minute decision to apply and based on some kind of crazy things going on with my current job, which I won't delve into :).  Just before Christmas they offered me the job.  I didn't immediately accept because I was comfortable where I was.  However, the deciding factor came when I met with the boss to negotiate terms and I asked if I could come on part time, working 30 hours per week, and allowing me to stay home with Elliot an extra day plus a few more hours every week.  She agreed.  It was basically a done deal for me at that point because this was the best possible solution.  I could continue to work, to keep my skills sharp, and to be home more with babykins!  So I am excited to report I will be starting there on the 22nd.  Wish me luck!

Speaking of people who are good ones, babykins is 7 months today!  Here are some pics to keep you from being totally bored:

Pertinent stats:
Teeth count: 3 (2 bottom, 1 top)
Favorite foods: boob milk, bananas, pears and oatmeal, prunes, sweet potato puffs, mixed veggies, green beans
Least favorite foods: apples (weird, right?), banana yogurt, broccoli and carrots with cheese
Favorite mode of transportation: laundry basket
Newest mode of transportation: crawling!
Number of actual words spoken: 0
Favorite activity: 3-way tie between playing, taking baths, and reading/chewing books
Number of times Mommy has been overwhelmed with love and pride: infinity

Baby's First Christmas

It's a Christmas miracle!  It is only three days after Christmas and I am already posting about it!

Ok, where do I start?  Our Christmas was awesome this year.  I can't believe everything we have done in the last five days.  Exhausting, but totally worth it.  I guess it makes the most sense to break it into three parts, "This American Life" style, since we essentially had three Christmases. 

Act. I: Christmas Eve/Yadao Family Christmas

Being a child of divorce, I have always found the holiday schedule impossible challenging.  You need to make sure you spend the appropriate amount of time with each parent, not to mention extended family, etc.  It does not get any easier when you get married and add a whole additional family to the mix.  Don't get me wrong, it is amazing to have so much family so close.  However, it can add stress to an already stressful time.  Our usual Christmas Eve tradition was to go to church, then rush over to Yadao family Christmas (my Dad's side), then rush to my Grandma's house for Ladendorf family Christmas (my Mom's side).  This year was different, since Grandma is gone now, and there was no Ladendorf family Christmas.  Sad, but the silver lining was we were in less of a rush and more able to be in the moment.

Girlfriend made out like a bandit.  I was a little shocked at how showered in gifts she was.  She unwrapped like it was 1999.  

 Elliot and Daddy ready for church

Elliot and Poppy 

Matching Auntie Debi

Fammelsbergs

Let the present-opening madness begin!

Look Daddy, I got another book!!

 Girlfriend with her loot.

Elliot trying to give cousin Lola a kiss.

Act II: Christmas Day

In keeping with tradition, on Christmas day we go over to my Mom's house.  We usually plan for a little later in the morning because my brother, defying all stereotypes of children on Christmas morning, is notorious for sleeping in super late on Christmas and we, the adults, sit around waiting for him to wake up.  So while we were waiting for that, we did Christmas morning at our house.  It was a short affair, since we didn't see much of a point in going all out on presents for a 6 month old.  She is not going to remember and has a pretty short attention span.  We can get her to open about 4 presents before she gets sick of it.  But, there were a handful of presents there and our little family sat around the tree, opening them up and taking tons of pictures.  Baby's first Christmas is well documented folks.  The pictures below are merely a sample of what we got.  I will say, and no offense to our extended families, with whom we had a marvelous time over the holiday, but this short, intimate time with just my immediate family was probably my favorite part of Christmas.  We were in our pajamas, soaking in the togetherness.  Elliot was in a great mood, comfortable in her own home, and not over-stimulated by anything. 

Everything goes straight to the mouth...

Like I mentioned before, later in the morning we went to Mom's...

Girlfriend opened her favorite toy of the year...her remote control.  We can't go anywhere without it.  And the songs don't get old at all.

Cuddling with Grandma Gail

While we were there it snowed!

Playing with her new remote

Ok, so we seem to be running into the same problem over and over again; hats just do not fit our baby.  Conclusion: All producers of baby hats do not know how to design for a real baby and are tailoring their designs to those magazine babies.  But, Jessica, weren't you frequently mocked by friends and loved ones for having such a large head in proportion to your body as a child and don't people constantly tell you how much your daughter looks like you?  Irrelevant.  Moving on...

Act III: Pullman

For the final leg of our Christmas journey, we went up to Pullman for a few days to celebrate Christmas with Erik's family.  As always, it was a lovely affair, full of laughter, wine, and lots of good food.  As you can imagine, Ells was spoiled with more gifts.  By this time, the art of gift-opening had been mastered.  In addition to being showered with love by the grandparents and aunt who do not see her regularly, she also got to spend an afternoon with just Grandma while the rest of us went of to the movies.  Mommy and Aunt Krista went to Les Miserables while Daddy and Grandpa went to Le Hobbit.  (Side note: Les Miserables is awesome and you should see it, however, if you are not into musicals you might be disappointed.  I confess, I did not really know the full story before going and for some reason I thought Anne Hathaway played the main character.  Imagine my surprise when [SPOILER ALERT] she dies in the first 20 minutes.)

Anyway, Pullman was a winter playground.  It didn't stop snowing until the day we left and could not have felt more like Christmas if Bing Crosby and Michael Buble waltzed in and sang "White Christmas" as a duet.  (If you didn't catch the Buble Christmas special, this happened!)

Aunt Krista gave Elliot her very own chair!

Gramsy and Grandpa spoiled Ells with lots of fun toys and books!

Winter walk in the new Ergo :)

 

With family like this, she is proud to be a Rammelsberg!

Holy cow, that was a long post.  Well, I wanted to do Christmas justice.  Thanks for sticking with me.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday.  From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!