Fourth Trimester

Greetings all!  I have emerged from the complete and total energy suck that is two children/recovery from childbirth to bring you this blog post.  We have been, by and large, keeping holed up together figuring out this family of four thing.  For those of you not immersed in the world of babies like I am, the "Fourth Trimester" refers to the first 3 months after the baby is born, when he is still basically an extension of my body.  We are smack dab in the middle of the Fourth Trimester.  It is a really beautiful time, so I thought I would share with you some snapshots I have taken in the most dramatic way possible: in black and white.

Lest the pictures below fool you, our transition to a family of four has not been entirely seamless.  There have been days when it is just hard.  Those are the days when I throw my hands up and say "we are absolutely not having any more kids!"  There have been days when Elliot gets overwhelmed and tantrums like no other.  And there are days when I wonder if I could go back to work, just for the day, and let these kids be someone else's problem for a few hours.

But then there are the other times.  The ones that fill my heart more full than I knew was possible.  Those moments when I see Erik tenderly holding both of our babies, or Elliot gently putting Liam's pacifier back in his mouth and kissing him on the forehead.  The times when Liam curls into me when I pick him up or lays his head on my chest and falls asleep.  These moments so overpower the tantrums, the long nights, the endless laundry.  It is such a special and short time.

During this time, Elliot has started preschool!  She goes two days a week in the mornings.  She was so nervous the first day I thought she was going to make herself sick.  But she did very well. And, I'm not going to lie, I really enjoy the break and the chance to bond one-on-one with Liam.

My baby bear.

 

This is Liam on January 10th, one month old!  I can't believe soon it will be two months!

We are not always sleeping peacefully!  Ironically, I was attempting to get a shot of him in his shirt that says "Awesome" but he was having none of it.

Even though some days are difficult for Elliot dealing with her new brother, she absolutely loves and adores him.  One of my very favorite things is watching their relationship develop.  I am so glad they have each other.  Every night Liam gets in Elliot's bed for prayers and story time.  It turns out, that is a golden opportunity for me to grab the camera.  The following photos are from those times and I love, love, love them.  Almost as much as I love the people in them.

Well, I better get back to the fam.  Stay tuned, we've got something exciting coming down the pipeline.  I can't say what it is just yet, but I suspect the next blog post will be the big reveal :).  

From "Vegas, Baby!" to Vegas baby...

I guess what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas!  You could say, we hit the jackpot and didn't even know it until two weeks later!  Are there any other cheesy Vegas-isms I missed.  Probably, but you see what I am doing here (and probably more information than you wanted, haha).

 

We were so pleased to become "Facebook Official" last week in announcing our new addition, but I have been meaning to elaborate a little with a blog post.  I also needed a forum to showcase my "Big Sis" photo shoot shots that didn't make the cut but were still so adorable they had to be seen.  Unfortunately, so far this pregnancy has been rough with round-the-clock morning sickness and intense fatigue that I do not remember having with Elliot.  This makes it difficult to accomplish simple tasks, like brushing my teeth, let alone writing.

 

We are so very excited about this baby.  He or she was a long time coming.  I have shared in previous posts about our struggles to conceive, followed by miscarriage, followed by more struggles to conceive.  There are never guarantees in life, and I know it is still early in the pregnancy (almost to second trimester!) but whatever happens we feel so blessed.  Last night I got to listen to Elliot's sweet voice telling one of her long-winded stories while feeling the first flutters of life in my belly, and felt so much gratitude to God for giving me this life, with my precious babies and amazing husband.  We will always feel grief over the baby we lost, but our rainbow baby (that's what they call babies that come after a miscarriage) has taken some of the sting out.

 

Elliot teeters between being really excited about the baby, to seeming to not really understand what is happening.  I think when we told her she expected the baby to come, like, immediately.  And when it didn't, she kind of lost interest.  She will occasionally make statements that when the baby comes she will be like Elsa, because Elsa is the big sister.  I don't think it has even occurred to her that the baby might be a boy.  Either way, I know she will be an awesome big sis!

 

 

In this one she is touching my belly.  Notice I am already showing...a lot.

An action shot.  She is jumping up and down in this one.

 

Thank you for all the kind words and support on our Facebook post.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers.  I definitely miss the luxury that I enjoyed in my first pregnancy of not worrying about every little ache and pain.  More updates to come in the future!



Adventures in Potty Training

Warning - Despite the beautiful pink potty chair with a dancing Disney character depicted on it, shown above, there is nothing pretty about potty training.  If you find any of the following words/phrases offensive, I recommend you read no further: potty, pee, poo, poopy, giant log, deuce, farted, explosion, yuck, yuck is right, turd ferguson, naked, butt cheeks...ok, ok I am not actually going to use all of these, ahem, expressions, in this blog post, but if you were to come around to our house these days I can't make the same promise.

Ok, so a couple months ago we embarked on what I now refer to as "it was the worst of times and it was the worst of times": potty training.  Elliot was starting to show signs she was ready to use the big girl potty, and let's be honest, diapers are freaking expensive, and it seemed like a win/win.  I decided it was time.  And it was exciting!  We made a big show of going out to pick out her potty.  We went to the potty aisle, laid out her options at one end and then set her at the other end and let her walk up to the one she wanted.  She picked Minnie, unequivocally.  Then we got to move on to the big girl underwear section!  Dora, Princess, Elmo, flowers...too cute and fun.  We paid for our items and headed home, excited for what was to come.

When we got home, we unloaded our purchases, set up the Minnie pot, and then I did what any well-researched, highly competent, potty-training mama would do; I called my Mom.  I believe my exact words were "Ok, we got a potty.  Now what is step 1?"  To my relief, step 1 was getting the potty, so we were already headed in the right direction.  (Side bar: For some reason, early on before we had even decided to start potty training, I decided I was going to do one of these "potty training boot camps" that guarantee your child is potty trained in one weekend.  Great idea, in theory.  However, when I actually looked into it, it sounded like a lot of nonsense.  First of all, one of the instructions was to get a potty chair for every room in the house.  What?  Those things are like $20 each.  If I was made of money I would have paid someone to potty train her for me!  Then, it said to go to a furniture store and buy some kind of special fur covering to put in the car seat.  No thank you.)

Big girl underwear!

 

So we started employing what I call the "Gail Method" (my Mom's name is Gail) to potty training.  And it was going well!  There were obviously many accidents, lots of loads of laundry, and plenty of frustrating moments, but for the most part she was getting it.  And let me tell you, even though it is the absolute worst thing about parenting I have experienced so far, potty training has lead to so much laughter in our house, albeit sometimes through fat, frustrated, tears.  (Mine, not Elliot's.)  There is the unavoidable increase of poo and pee related words to the toddler's vocabulary, so we heard a lot of "No poo poo!  No potty!"  My favorite though, is the phrase she really held on to: "Yuck is right!"  The background is, she had a number 2 accident and Erik (or was it my Dad?) was changing her and she said "Yuck!" and he answered "Yuck is right!" and from then on she has thought the name for the actual poo log is "yuck is right."  So whenever she would drop a deuce she would shout out "Mommy! Daddy! Yuck is right!"  In fact, recently we were walking up my Mom's walkway and there was an unfortunately shaped pinecone Elliot spotted.  She stopped in her tracks, shocked, and pointed at it saying "Yuck is right! Yuck is right!"  But I digress...

Anyway, I say it was going well because a few weeks ago she decided she was done.  D.O.N.E.  She had been having a few days in a row where she didn't make it to the potty at all.  Not only that, she made no effort to get to the potty at all, preferring instead to go in her pants and then tell us to change her afterward.  She was with my Dad when it happened.  I guess she was sitting there for a while and then suddenly stood up, slammed the potty shut, and promptly pooed on the floor in protest!  After that, she showed so little interest in the whole process we decided to put the potty away for a while and try again in a couple months.  Was this the right thing to do?  I don't know.  Was it was the easier option for these first-time parents?  Absolutely.  We figured, she's not even two yet, it's still acceptable for her to be in diapers.  Now, if she's heading off to kindergarten and we haven't resolved this yet...different story.  But for now, cost of diapers be damned!

What they don't tell you...

I have come to understand that parenting is a learning process.  I like to think I was well-informed going into this, that I did my due diligence.  I read the books, the baby blogs, the magazines, etc.  I asked my ob/gyn every question and solicited advice from all the mamas I know.  Even after all that preparation, there are still some things that come up that take me completely by surprise.  And I'm not talking about the corny, expected, "I can't believe how much I love her!" kind of things.  I am talking about basic, common sense things that it seems like all of my pre-mama research should have uncovered.  So, just in case there are any soon-to-be mamas out there reading this blog, this one's for you!

Your hair will be a complete disaster.

Ok, so here's what I knew going in:  when you are pregnant your body does not produce some kind of hormone that usually causes your hair to fall out when it gets old.  Apparently, we are all losing hair all the time in small amounts and we replace it as it falls out, so it is not noticeable.  After you give birth your body starts producing that hormone again and you lose a ton of hair.  Like I said, this I knew and was prepared for.

What I didn't know was this:  It all starts growing back at the same time.  I know this should have been the logical conclusion to come to when you find out it all falls out at once.  Why is this a disaster?  Because around 6 months after the big fall-out you start to notice little fly-aways frame your entire face.  And they stick straight up, and they are noticeable.  Mine are so bad that when I went to my new hair stylist she asked me if I recently had a baby.  No worries, in a few months I will have extremely thin, weird bangs :(.

Your biggest critic?

Other moms.  You thought I was going to say "yourself" right?  That is what I would have said before, too.  But it is true.  Instead of being a community of support and acceptance like we should be, everyone is eyeing each other and saying "oh my gosh, that poor child!"  I try not to let this get to me too much.  I know my daughter is healthy and happy and that it could be far worse.  What bothers me the most is how every parenting philosophy is so intensely inflexible.  Their method is right and there is no merit to any other style and if you are not following theirs you must not love your child.  I have read the blogs and articles, and maybe it is just the lawyer in me, but I usually end up wanting to take out my red pen, circle the offending information (usually something like "you should be feeding your child liver in place of rice cereal") and write "citation needed."

So this is a plea to the mamas out there: parenting is hard enough without us being hard on each other.  Let's support instead of judge.  I will (try to) not judge you for breastfeeding your child until she is 4 if you will overlook the fact that I give mine baby food from a jar.

The floor is your nemesis.

Your kid is going to spend a lot of time on the floor.  A lot.

This means you are going to become a floor-cleaning fanatic.  And sometimes there is just not going to be enough time to do a thorough cleaning job.  We have mostly hardwood floors throughout the house. I confess, they only get swept and mopped once a week.  Sometimes when Friday rolls around again and I sweep up the floor during Elliot's first nap I feel like I should maybe call CPS on myself.  It doesn't help that we have a sheddy dog.  Sure, it's adorable when they play, but I can't help but thinking with every wag of that tail approximately 20 hairs are flying into the air and coming to rest on something my baby will inevitably put in her mouth.  Sometimes it helps to just have a glass of wine and try not to think about it.

See?  Adorable.

It shines a spotlight on the weakest parts of your marriage.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Although, I can totally see how marriages that may have been on the verge of collapse pre-baby probably could not withstand baby time.  I say it is not necessarily a bad thing though because for a strong, healthy marriage (which I am blessed to have) it makes you aware of the areas you need to focus on.  Sleep deprivation combined with stretched resources and way less time to focus on each other puts stress on anyone.

On the other hand, it also allows you to see the side of your spouse you didn't know existed and makes you love them even more.  May I present exhibit A and B?

A

B

Even post-baby, he still stands there in the neon looking like a high I want to be on.  (This is not the first time I have referred to Blake Shelton lyrics in the history of this blog, and it won't be my last!)

Ok, I think I am spent.  I hope this helps someone out there!

I will leave with a couple more pics of my cutie patootie because if I don't brag on her, who will?

Sitting cross-legged.  She did this herself.

Forgive the paleness and red, baggy eyes.  We are recovering from a cold :).

Mommy Confessions

I started my new job last week, and so far I am loving how busy I am and that I get to be home more with Babykins.  Since I am mainly working in the juvenile court, a lot of my case load is made up of dependencies, which is the legal process in which children are declared wards of the court for various reasons, usually for abuse or neglect.  These are the hardest cases to handle in my job.  There are some really REALLY bad things that people do to kids.  But, let's not talk about that here.

At least working with all these sad cases I have decided to be a little less hard on myself.  I know from my blog/facebook posts it appears that everything is great all the time.  And in truth, we are very happy.  But that doesn't mean we don't have our share of issues.  So in the spirit of letting it all hang out (well not ALL) these are my confessions:

1.  I have given Elliot formula.  No one died.  I will do it again.

2.  Even though I complain about how I would love to be a stay at home mom I am not sure I could do it full-time.  Some days I am happy to be going off to work.  My mother is a saint.  Not only does she watch Elliot every day all day, but she stayed home with my sister and me.

3.  Sometimes I go to the bathroom just so I can have a break.  (I was relieved to read in Tina Fey's book Bossypants that she does the same thing.  In fact, the whole section on parenthood in that book is very relatable and I highly recommend it to mommies.)

4. I eat Elliot's snacks...a lot.  Food products made for babies are delicious!  I especially enjoy the yogurt melts.  I have also been known to finish off her jars of baby food, but only the fruit ones. 

5. I often look for any excuse at all to go to Fred Meyer just because I like being there with Elliot.  

6.  I honestly don't know if I would love her as much if she were a boy.  Isn't that awful?  But, for whatever reason, I just can't picture loving any other baby, boy or girl, as much as I love her.

7.  I give her juice and I don't feel guilty about it.  (Some of you are saying "Wait, what's wrong with giving a baby juice?"  Exactly!  But it is a thing and right now apparently it is not kosh to give babies juice.  Sugar or some nonsense.)  Sometimes I don't even water it down.

8.  Ok, this one is embarrassing and probably my worst mommy moment to date.  So a couple months ago, you know, when she was about 6 months old, I noticed there was something kind of gunky looking in the sucker part of my breast pump and I thought "hmm, I wonder what that is?"  Upon closer inspection I realized, to my horror, it was old milk/bacteria and I was trying to figure out how to clean it out, not realizing that whole part of the pump came apart.  I had been using it for approximately six months without ever having cleaned it properly!

9.  I considered making my own baby food...for about 3 minutes.

10.  I am an introvert, which means when I get home from work the last thing I want to do is go anywhere except to my jammies, on the couch, with my babe-o.  It's how I refuel.  You know what's the best excuse for an introvert to stay in her comfort zone?  A baby.  And, believe me, I cash in on that card ALL. THE. TIME.

So, there you have it.  Now you know the real me.  It feels good to get all that off my chest!

Since it's been a while, I will send you off with some stats:

Age: (almost) 8 months

Teeth: 6 (4 top, 2 bottom)

Favorite foods: mango, peas, oatmeal with bananas and mixed berries, scrambled egg yolk, green beans, sweet potatoes and chicken, ham pineapple apple and rice, and pretty much anything combined with pears

Least favorite foods: avocado, apricots, apples (stay away from "a" foods I guess!)

Words spoken: "Hi!" "Boo" (She is just now starting to be talkative.  For a while she was just kind of silent and sneaky.)

Favorite activities: swinging, strolling, singing, pulling herself up and balancing "hands free", bouncing on Daddy

Least favorite activity: getting dressed

All Quiet on the Poo Front

Over the past week baby girl has been, shall we say, a little plugged up.  As in, she went three days without having a poopy.  (How embarrassing this would be if she could understand!)  This started Poop Watch 2012, with us looking for any signs of bowel movement, frequent texts from work (Has she done it yet?), and copious amounts of praise for even the slightest passing of gas (Good job Ells!  Have anything else in there?!).  On day two we took her to her pediatrician.  He sent us off with some reassurances and a prescription for some suppositories, with instructions to use them only if she went five days without some movement.  Five days!  Thank goodness day three brought some relief (for all of us :)).  I have never been so happy to see something so disgusting.  While the whole ordeal was cause for concern, I found it amusing to think that for three days our lives revolved around waiting for our baby to poop.  It made me think of how different (wonderfully so) our lives have become.

Bedtime is REALLY early.

If we are not at least getting ready for bed by 9:00, and by "we" I mean me and Erik, Elliot is long asleep by then, it is basically like the middle of the night for us.  We had the opportunity to catch a movie a few weekends ago and we both found it ghastly that a movie would start at 7:35!  We happily headed to the 4:00 show knowing we would be tucked safely into bed by 9:30 at the latest.

There is no such thing as a last minute, quick trip to Target.

Just the other night we were reminiscing about the days when, if we wanted to go somewhere, we would just get in the car and go.  No need to plan the whole day around a trip to the library.  No need to wait until someone wakes up from a nap.  No second guessing the amount of food or diapers necessary to make it to a second location when running errands.  (If I feed her right before we go, will I have enough time to make it to the grocery store AND the post office?  No, better not risk it.)

We voluntarily make fools of ourselves on a daily basis.

There is nothing we wouldn't do to get one of those huge, gummy smiles from our little silly.  On any given evening you could walk in our house and see me doing a dance while blowing raspberries, prompting Elliot to erupt into giggles or Erik walking around the house with Elliot on his head saying "have you seen Elliot anywhere?"  I have even found myself at work just randomly blowing raspberries at, say, the copy machine, because I am so used to doing it at home. 

My body is different now (and I don't care).

Here I sit, two pounds away from my pre-baby weight.  The only thing is, it doesn't look like my pre-baby body.  It is just different.  God bless those lucky women who bounce right back to their bikini-wearing bodies.  I kissed mine good-bye when the stretch marks settled in for the long haul.  I thought I would obsess over it.  To my surprise, I don't have time to obsess over it.  Working full-time, I have very little time to be with my daughter, and every second I have with her is precious.  How could I waste it worrying about how I look?  Plus, my body just did an amazing thing.  Who am I to judge how it looks after pulling off such a feat?

Waking up at 6:30 on a Saturday is less like a punishment and more like an opportunity.

It doesn't matter if Elliot wakes up or not, without an alarm I am now programmed to wake up at 6:30.  If she is awake, great!  That means we get some good mommy/daughter time in.  If not, then I get an early jump on the day.  It is so satisfying to have eaten breakfast, showered, cleaned up the house, fed the baby, and look at the clock and see it is not even 10:00 yet.

My husband is amazing.

Ok, so I knew this before the babes came along.  But post-Elliot, I have seen even more facets of his personality and I fall in love with him more every day.  It's not just that he has really stepped it up in the  helping out around the house department.  (Seriously, I am super lucky.  Since he gets home before me at night he usually has dinner going by the time I get home.  Then, later he lets me have some good, quality time with Elliot and he cleans everything up.  That's right, cooks AND cleans!)  It's the way being a dad brings out parts of him I did not know existed.  He is so careful and loving with her.  Today, he was sitting with her on the floor and she was sitting up by herself in her wobbly way.  She looked up at me with a huge smile on her face, so proud.  But when I glanced at Erik he was looking intently at her, with his hands close to her but not touching, waiting for the slightest sign that she might topple over.  Elliot, of course, was oblivious, plowing forward without the slightest regard for her safety.  There was something about that scene that just tugged at my heartstrings.  I don't know if it was the way he didn't look up because he was too worried about her falling or that he so obviously wanted her to feel the joy she was feeling about being so independent, but it melted me.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts on how our lives have changed over the past 5 months.  That's right, it has been five whole months already.  It is so much better than I thought it would be.  I am one lucky lady.  A lucky lady that has spent way too much time away from her family writing this blog post!  So on that note, I will bid you adieu.  Happy Veteran's Day weekend!