Mommy Confessions

I started my new job last week, and so far I am loving how busy I am and that I get to be home more with Babykins.  Since I am mainly working in the juvenile court, a lot of my case load is made up of dependencies, which is the legal process in which children are declared wards of the court for various reasons, usually for abuse or neglect.  These are the hardest cases to handle in my job.  There are some really REALLY bad things that people do to kids.  But, let's not talk about that here.

At least working with all these sad cases I have decided to be a little less hard on myself.  I know from my blog/facebook posts it appears that everything is great all the time.  And in truth, we are very happy.  But that doesn't mean we don't have our share of issues.  So in the spirit of letting it all hang out (well not ALL) these are my confessions:

1.  I have given Elliot formula.  No one died.  I will do it again.

2.  Even though I complain about how I would love to be a stay at home mom I am not sure I could do it full-time.  Some days I am happy to be going off to work.  My mother is a saint.  Not only does she watch Elliot every day all day, but she stayed home with my sister and me.

3.  Sometimes I go to the bathroom just so I can have a break.  (I was relieved to read in Tina Fey's book Bossypants that she does the same thing.  In fact, the whole section on parenthood in that book is very relatable and I highly recommend it to mommies.)

4. I eat Elliot's snacks...a lot.  Food products made for babies are delicious!  I especially enjoy the yogurt melts.  I have also been known to finish off her jars of baby food, but only the fruit ones. 

5. I often look for any excuse at all to go to Fred Meyer just because I like being there with Elliot.  

6.  I honestly don't know if I would love her as much if she were a boy.  Isn't that awful?  But, for whatever reason, I just can't picture loving any other baby, boy or girl, as much as I love her.

7.  I give her juice and I don't feel guilty about it.  (Some of you are saying "Wait, what's wrong with giving a baby juice?"  Exactly!  But it is a thing and right now apparently it is not kosh to give babies juice.  Sugar or some nonsense.)  Sometimes I don't even water it down.

8.  Ok, this one is embarrassing and probably my worst mommy moment to date.  So a couple months ago, you know, when she was about 6 months old, I noticed there was something kind of gunky looking in the sucker part of my breast pump and I thought "hmm, I wonder what that is?"  Upon closer inspection I realized, to my horror, it was old milk/bacteria and I was trying to figure out how to clean it out, not realizing that whole part of the pump came apart.  I had been using it for approximately six months without ever having cleaned it properly!

9.  I considered making my own baby food...for about 3 minutes.

10.  I am an introvert, which means when I get home from work the last thing I want to do is go anywhere except to my jammies, on the couch, with my babe-o.  It's how I refuel.  You know what's the best excuse for an introvert to stay in her comfort zone?  A baby.  And, believe me, I cash in on that card ALL. THE. TIME.

So, there you have it.  Now you know the real me.  It feels good to get all that off my chest!

Since it's been a while, I will send you off with some stats:

Age: (almost) 8 months

Teeth: 6 (4 top, 2 bottom)

Favorite foods: mango, peas, oatmeal with bananas and mixed berries, scrambled egg yolk, green beans, sweet potatoes and chicken, ham pineapple apple and rice, and pretty much anything combined with pears

Least favorite foods: avocado, apricots, apples (stay away from "a" foods I guess!)

Words spoken: "Hi!" "Boo" (She is just now starting to be talkative.  For a while she was just kind of silent and sneaky.)

Favorite activities: swinging, strolling, singing, pulling herself up and balancing "hands free", bouncing on Daddy

Least favorite activity: getting dressed

"Whatever you are, be a good one." -Abraham Lincoln

I had a law professor who always put quotes up to start each class.  Most of them were in one ear and out the other, but for some reason this one stuck.  Maybe it is the simple elegance, my interpretation being that it doesn't matter what you are as long as you are honest and competent.  I think I also liked that it doesn't limit you to being any one thing.  It suggests that you can wear lots of different hats but that you should wear each one well.  He was not my favorite professor, nor my least favorite, but he was a good teacher and he taught me virtually everything I know about criminal law and procedure.  Little did I know at the time how important that would be, since, as I have mentioned before, I never guessed I would end up being a criminal defense attorney.  Sadly, I found out last week my professor passed away.  He was in his forties.

So, where am I going with this?  Well, I guess I have been thinking a lot about my career lately and, if you have followed my blog in the past, you know that I really struggle with working full-time and wanting to be home more with Elliot.  I also had an epiphany that I have been looking at my job all wrong.  I keep telling myself that this is the "in-between" job, that being in criminal law is just something to do until I get my dream job, that this is definitely not my career... I have decided to stop doing that.  If recent events have taught me anything, it is that life is short.  Too short to tell myself that this life I am living, the career side, is not really my life.  I have decided to embrace it and take change as it comes.  I am a criminal defense attorney, and I hope I can say I am a good one.

But, here's the big news, ba ba ba bum (that's a drum roll): I will not be a defense attorney for much longer.  After Thanksgiving I applied to be the Assistant Prosecutor at the Yakama Nation.  It was a last minute decision to apply and based on some kind of crazy things going on with my current job, which I won't delve into :).  Just before Christmas they offered me the job.  I didn't immediately accept because I was comfortable where I was.  However, the deciding factor came when I met with the boss to negotiate terms and I asked if I could come on part time, working 30 hours per week, and allowing me to stay home with Elliot an extra day plus a few more hours every week.  She agreed.  It was basically a done deal for me at that point because this was the best possible solution.  I could continue to work, to keep my skills sharp, and to be home more with babykins!  So I am excited to report I will be starting there on the 22nd.  Wish me luck!

Speaking of people who are good ones, babykins is 7 months today!  Here are some pics to keep you from being totally bored:

Pertinent stats:
Teeth count: 3 (2 bottom, 1 top)
Favorite foods: boob milk, bananas, pears and oatmeal, prunes, sweet potato puffs, mixed veggies, green beans
Least favorite foods: apples (weird, right?), banana yogurt, broccoli and carrots with cheese
Favorite mode of transportation: laundry basket
Newest mode of transportation: crawling!
Number of actual words spoken: 0
Favorite activity: 3-way tie between playing, taking baths, and reading/chewing books
Number of times Mommy has been overwhelmed with love and pride: infinity

Baby's First Christmas

It's a Christmas miracle!  It is only three days after Christmas and I am already posting about it!

Ok, where do I start?  Our Christmas was awesome this year.  I can't believe everything we have done in the last five days.  Exhausting, but totally worth it.  I guess it makes the most sense to break it into three parts, "This American Life" style, since we essentially had three Christmases. 

Act. I: Christmas Eve/Yadao Family Christmas

Being a child of divorce, I have always found the holiday schedule impossible challenging.  You need to make sure you spend the appropriate amount of time with each parent, not to mention extended family, etc.  It does not get any easier when you get married and add a whole additional family to the mix.  Don't get me wrong, it is amazing to have so much family so close.  However, it can add stress to an already stressful time.  Our usual Christmas Eve tradition was to go to church, then rush over to Yadao family Christmas (my Dad's side), then rush to my Grandma's house for Ladendorf family Christmas (my Mom's side).  This year was different, since Grandma is gone now, and there was no Ladendorf family Christmas.  Sad, but the silver lining was we were in less of a rush and more able to be in the moment.

Girlfriend made out like a bandit.  I was a little shocked at how showered in gifts she was.  She unwrapped like it was 1999.  

 Elliot and Daddy ready for church

Elliot and Poppy 

Matching Auntie Debi

Fammelsbergs

Let the present-opening madness begin!

Look Daddy, I got another book!!

 Girlfriend with her loot.

Elliot trying to give cousin Lola a kiss.

Act II: Christmas Day

In keeping with tradition, on Christmas day we go over to my Mom's house.  We usually plan for a little later in the morning because my brother, defying all stereotypes of children on Christmas morning, is notorious for sleeping in super late on Christmas and we, the adults, sit around waiting for him to wake up.  So while we were waiting for that, we did Christmas morning at our house.  It was a short affair, since we didn't see much of a point in going all out on presents for a 6 month old.  She is not going to remember and has a pretty short attention span.  We can get her to open about 4 presents before she gets sick of it.  But, there were a handful of presents there and our little family sat around the tree, opening them up and taking tons of pictures.  Baby's first Christmas is well documented folks.  The pictures below are merely a sample of what we got.  I will say, and no offense to our extended families, with whom we had a marvelous time over the holiday, but this short, intimate time with just my immediate family was probably my favorite part of Christmas.  We were in our pajamas, soaking in the togetherness.  Elliot was in a great mood, comfortable in her own home, and not over-stimulated by anything. 

Everything goes straight to the mouth...

Like I mentioned before, later in the morning we went to Mom's...

Girlfriend opened her favorite toy of the year...her remote control.  We can't go anywhere without it.  And the songs don't get old at all.

Cuddling with Grandma Gail

While we were there it snowed!

Playing with her new remote

Ok, so we seem to be running into the same problem over and over again; hats just do not fit our baby.  Conclusion: All producers of baby hats do not know how to design for a real baby and are tailoring their designs to those magazine babies.  But, Jessica, weren't you frequently mocked by friends and loved ones for having such a large head in proportion to your body as a child and don't people constantly tell you how much your daughter looks like you?  Irrelevant.  Moving on...

Act III: Pullman

For the final leg of our Christmas journey, we went up to Pullman for a few days to celebrate Christmas with Erik's family.  As always, it was a lovely affair, full of laughter, wine, and lots of good food.  As you can imagine, Ells was spoiled with more gifts.  By this time, the art of gift-opening had been mastered.  In addition to being showered with love by the grandparents and aunt who do not see her regularly, she also got to spend an afternoon with just Grandma while the rest of us went of to the movies.  Mommy and Aunt Krista went to Les Miserables while Daddy and Grandpa went to Le Hobbit.  (Side note: Les Miserables is awesome and you should see it, however, if you are not into musicals you might be disappointed.  I confess, I did not really know the full story before going and for some reason I thought Anne Hathaway played the main character.  Imagine my surprise when [SPOILER ALERT] she dies in the first 20 minutes.)

Anyway, Pullman was a winter playground.  It didn't stop snowing until the day we left and could not have felt more like Christmas if Bing Crosby and Michael Buble waltzed in and sang "White Christmas" as a duet.  (If you didn't catch the Buble Christmas special, this happened!)

Aunt Krista gave Elliot her very own chair!

Gramsy and Grandpa spoiled Ells with lots of fun toys and books!

Winter walk in the new Ergo :)

 

With family like this, she is proud to be a Rammelsberg!

Holy cow, that was a long post.  Well, I wanted to do Christmas justice.  Thanks for sticking with me.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday.  From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!