Grandparents

Grandma Gail

Grandpa Bill & Grandma Sue

Grandpa "Poppy" Cres

 I always love hearing people talk about their grandchildren.  It doesn't matter who it is (my co-worker, the lady sitting at the table next to mine, or my own mother), but something just comes over them.  Their faces radiate pure joy.  The grandparent/grandchild relationship is one of the most special relationships we, as humans, experience, whether we are lucky enough to be a part of one or merely observe them going on around us.

Elliot with her Grandpas at Famous Dave's

And with her Grandmas at her birthday party

 I don't think I realized what a wonderful relationship it is until I became a parent.  Elliot hit the grandparent jackpot.  Both my parents and Erik's are amazing grandparents.  She is the only grandchild on both sides, so not only is her company highly sought after, but she is spoiled rotten.  I am always in awe of her relationship with each one of them.  Not just how she is able to interact with each of them differently and read their personalities, but also how she changes them.  For example, my parents, who have been divorced since I was 8, are much more friendly and patient with each other and often work together to cover baby duty when Erik and I are not available.  We noticed a big change in Erik's parents when we come to visit them in Pullman.  Before Elliot was born they were always happy when we came to visit, but they never came bounding out the door to meet us at the car like they do now!

My mom has been looking forward to having grandchildren since I was in grade school.  I vividly remember her packing away toys we had outgrown and saying "I am saving this one for my grandbabies!"  And she did!  She's always pulling out all these toys for Elliot that I used to play with.  The most recent recovery is the "My Little Ponies"collection.  I think I might have more fun playing with those than Elliot.  Mom and Elliot have a beautiful relationship.  She understands her sometimes better than I do.  And there is no one out there better at celebrating Elliot and the things she accomplishes.  Sometimes I just watch her watching Elliot because I like to see so much joy on her face.

When we told my Dad I was pregnant, he literally jumped up and down.  Several times.  It was probably the best reaction we got, bar none.  His attitude toward the news pretty much sums up his attitude toward her in everything.  I don't think he could ever get enough Elliot.  And I am sure all of his phone contacts wish his camera would break down for a while so he would stop sending them pictures of her!  As many of you know, he recently underwent a very serious brain surgery that ended up keeping him in the hospital longer than expected.  Even when he was in his most drugged up and uncomfortable state, he would still ask about her and long to see her.

Bill and Sue are two of my (and Elliot's, of course) favorite people.  I am forever grateful I married into the Rammelsberg family.  It is unfortunate they live in a different town and Elliot does not see them as often as her other grandparents.  Fortunately, they are only a couple hours away and we see them at least once a month.  When we visit Sue always makes sure everything is just right for Elliot, from the food she buys to the crib bedding.  She also always encourages Mommy and Daddy to get out of the house for the purpose of giving us a break (but actually so she can be alone with Elliot...we know what you are doing! lol).  She never gets tired of playing and reading with her and showers her with compliments.  She is also a wonderful storyteller, so I am looking forward to Elliot learning all about her relatives from Sue as she grows up.

Bill is a "comfortable silence" kind of guy.  By that I mean, he is a man of few words.  But he is the sweetest man in the world and Elliot adores him.  She can convince him to do just about anything.  And he was willing to abandon his home comforts to come sleep on our crappy spare bed for a few nights all to stay with her.  One day he was watching her while we were at work and I texted him asking how it was going.  His reply was it was good and they were "just cuddling and watching shows."  Precious.  A lifelong WSU fan (I am not sure "fan" is even a strong enough word) he taught Elliot how to say "Go Cougs!" last time he was here.  I wonder what he will do if she decides to become a Vandal like her mama.  Or even worse, a Husky!

Grandma Vera at our wedding in 2009

In all seriousness, I have been considering the grandparent relationship a lot recently because we are coming up on the one year anniversary of losing my Grandma.  Right after she passed I thought about writing about her in my blog and what she meant to me several times, but could never bring myself to do it.  There is a Native American tradition, or perhaps just a Yakama Nation tradition, that when someone dies you do not look at a picture of them or really speak of them for one year.  While I do not personally subscribe to that tradition, I recognize a kind of beauty in it.  Soon after losing someone emotions are so raw that they tend to cloud anything you do or say.  So I guess, in a way, that is why I never did blog about it.

She was a wonderful Grandma.  I miss her dearly.  I spent a lot of time with her growing up and as an adult, and I will never regret that time.  Now that I see the way Elliot's grandparents love her I understand how she must have felt about me, and my siblings and cousins.  What I do regret is that she didn't live long enough to answer all the questions I have for her that come up as I go through day to day activities.  I should have asked her more about her parents and what they were like.  I wish I could ask her what it was like to raise four kids and whether she would recommend having that many now.  But most of all I wish I could just sit around her table with her and talk.  About nothing.  About everything.  I see her in many places in my life.  Especially when I host a gathering and when I am cooking one of her signature dishes.  I hope to one day be rolling up a batch of her cinnamon rolls, cutting off the end piece and handing it to my granddaughter, telling her all about Grandma Vera.

Her house recently sold, and seeing someone else parked in her driveway and living their life in the house that is as familiar to me as my own childhood home was like a punch to the gut.  But I know what Grandma would say, after she scoffed at the current state of her yard: It's just stuff.  She was so uncomfortable at the end with her various infirmities, that I am grateful that she is at peace.  When we found her, after she had passed, she was lying peacefully on her bed, fully clothed, and comfortable.  I cannot imagine a more perfect way for her to go.  Still, it's difficult on the rest of us.

Grandma with Elliot last Halloween, the last time I saw her.

I am so grateful for her life, that I got to be a part of it, and that she got to meet Elliot.  She is gone but not forgotten.  Cheers to you, Grandma!  We miss you.